I was reminded this morning about the pregnant/1 year “mommy fog”. Do you know what I am talking about?
In March 2004 I got pregnant, miscarried in May, got pregnant with Miles in July, gave birth in April, got pregnant in November to Luke, gave birth in July of 2005.
When Luke turned 1, in July 2006…nearly two and a half years of being pregnant, nursing, having a baby…I remember telling John one day, “The old Heather is back.”
I felt like a fog had cleared. A fog I had no idea I was in. But I could think again. My hormones seemed more balanced and controlled.
I wasn’t expecting for all the hormonal changes to last for a full year. I never experienced with Miles because I was pregnant again before he turned 1.
Now, let me say that I am thankful to have my first two so close and actually John and I always encourage having two close. See, it’s what we’ve experienced and we loved it…so we tell new parents that number 2 becomes an instant playmate for number 1 and that has just been a blessing in our family. Even as the years go on, the friendship between Miles and Luke is precious and we are watching Clark work his way into the duo.
So I don’t say this to discourage close babies or to even complain about it…just to encourage other moms who may have never had that one year “hey I feel back to normal” experience.
I know a few moms who have had two, three or four babies close together, they have not come out of the fog and may not even realize they are still in that fog. Be encouraged, you’re not going crazy, you’re normal! Cut yourself slack! Give yourself grace! This will pass…all too quickly! Find some close girlfriends who’ve walked ahead of you. Vent to them. Share your heart with them.
Of course share with your husband, but at times we have no idea what we’re really even feeling or thinking, we’re just sad, frustrated, short-fused, numb, blank, tired, and a bit overwhelmed. He may just want to fix it, which is how men are wired…but since we really have no idea what’s going on he’s unable to help, thus he gets frustrated. You’re frustrated, he’s frustrated….not good for the marriage. This is where a girlfriend can just listen and say, “It’s normal! I’ve been there, you will survive. You may not thrive, but you will survive!”
With Clark I was a bit more prepared. I knew it was okay that I couldn’t think clearly. I look back at my blogs during that year and I didn’t blog much because my brain just couldn’t think. Also, with John I didn’t expect to have spiritual or emotional growth during this time. I knew the fog (and lack of sleep) would just allow me to survive. I’d seek out thriving after that year ended. It gave me peace and took away some of my frustrating because I could put to words what was going on. “Hey this fog is thick today…brain will work again in a few months.”
So be encouraged new mommy’s, the fog will clear!
