March 16, 2010
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Mr Competitive
AKA: Luke
(Silly photo we took)
I need some help from other mommies!
I don't have much of a competitive spirit. I mean sure I like to win, but it's not like I have to win to have a good time.
Lately Luke has been Mr. Competitive!
He has to win at everything and EVERYTHING is a game. Who gets in their bed first, who gets in the van first, who gets in their seat first, who jumps off the couch first, who gets to the table first, who pees first before bed, who picks up their toys first...everything is a game!
It's about ready to drive me bonkers!
When Miles "wins"...you know gets in his bed first...Luke break downs crying.
He's almost gets BESIDE himself with the fact that he "lost".
Thankfully, Miles is a good sport. He'll get out of bed and let Luke "win". Yesterday though Miles wanted to win the "who gets in the seat in the van" first game. OH BOY! Then I two boys who melted down...balling...I wanted to win, I don't want to lose...AHHHAAHHH.
Help me out here, what would you do? Sometimes the game is helpful...you know the who picks up their toys first wins. But for the most part I am noticing that it is becoming all consuming for Luke to win.
I want to foster and grow this spirit. I don't think there's anything wrong with being competitive...but I don't think it should override relationships and attitudes.
Any advice would be helpful!
Comments (4)
Hey Heather - not sure how much advice I have but I will share our world. Evan is very similar and it's definitely and age thing and usually the boys more than girls. Not that girls can't be this way, but God did make us different and I see this more in boys this age. Evan goes as far as wanting me to beat all the cars on the road - because of course, it's a race.
We decided to put Evan in soccer this year for many reasons, but one was to begin to learn the idea of team and others. His first few practices and games were rough as he ran off the field crying if someone took the ball from him or if someone else scored - even if he had already scored (practice and games). We spent a lot of time talking about celebrating others and what it means to give an "assist" and how important that is. Do y'all ever watch sports? Not that they are always a great example, but at times it can be good to watch a team sport and give them examples of how they celebrate each other and how others being better than them can encourage them to get better themselves. We try to really focus on celebrating anyone who scores or wins. This has worked with Evan as he now loves soccer and does a great job cheering and really grabbed onto the assist idea and how important that is to help others.
We also play board games and work on learning how to win and lose well. I think it's something we have to teach them verbally and model them. I also think they need practice on how to do it well. I think we all do! 
I do think it's natural and normal to go through a phase like this. It does get hard at times as Evan makes everything a competition...but with Jeff or I since Abbie isn't old enough yet.
I hope that helps at least some. I will be praying for you and John and y'all guide and raise your boys.
I've four boys who are extremely competitive. Everything is a race around here, everything is a competition. always. I've worked long and hard to "cure" this - but alas, though I've tamed it down some, I don't think it can be cured, and really -- I'm okay w/ that. I'd love to talk this one out together - I'm sure I could glean from you too. I think like anything in our childrens' life, we want to take their weaknesses and make them into a strength. At the age Luke is, he is only being what his personality has made him to be and the key is to have balance in all things - so we strive and work at taking their competitiveness and fine tuning it into determination and drive that in later on in life will help them to accomplish great things.
It seems to be the nature of boys...especially the younger brother. Nick used to be horrible and would cry whenever he lost anything. However, I would say that he is maturing greatly and although he has a competitive spirit by nature, he handles it very well now. I hope that gives you hope!
I do think that it can be an indicator of a leadership personality and we as moms can encourage them in that direction.
Missed seeing you today!
We have the same issue going on here, except that it's the older one (Ethan) "competing" against the younger one (Andrew). Andrew couldn't care less, and pretty much ignores the contest. It's probably just yet another phase that drives us bonkers; nonetheless we remind Ethan that he only needs to DO his best, and not necessarily BE the best at everything.
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