I love the tradition of giving and receiving Christmas Cards! It's the best thing to get a pile of REAL mail!

I've saved every (and I am not a saver by nature) Christmas picture we've received since getting married in 2003! It's so fun looking back over them, watching the families get bigger through marriage and birth and to watch the kids grow up.

All the pictures we receive are saved in this Christmas basket:

This year we've added to the fun by opening every Christmas card together as a family. The boys have enjoyed seeing pictures, reading cards (well we do the reading) and hanging them up!

Another tradition I started the year we got married was to keep a Christmas journal. I used to write about the events of the holiday, but now I keep our Christmas picture and letter. It's also fun to look back over the past 8 years of sending out cards and see how much we've changed!

Do you have any Christmas Card traditions?

DISCLAIMER: I say none of this to have a "look at me" attitude, just want to share one of the main reasons I love to Super Coupon! (I have a coupon page on Facebook: Heather's Coupon Updates, if you want to see how I get some of the deals I get!)

 Yesterday at 2:30 I got an e-mail from my mom. She had received a call from a local ministry that helps people get back on their feet. This ministry knew my mom was getting rid of household items because of downsizing. They asked if this mom and her 2 boys, ages 3 and 5, could come and pick up some items. They were homeless, but the mom got a job and they got an apartment, but have nothing!

 Mom asked if we had any gentle used boy items for these little guys.

 Because of all my super couponing we were able to put together 7 bags of groceries, toiletries, cleaning supplies and a bag of wrapped up toys for these little boys (One day John cleared out the clearance section at Target of boy toys for future birthday gifts for other kids!)

 When I told my neighbor about their need, he brought over a turkey breast (and another bag of food), we had stuffing, potatoes and green beans for them as well! So they could have a Christmas dinner!

 Today when the lady and her sons came to my mom's old house to pick up everything my mom heard the little boys said, "Mom it's food!" 

 Just writing that makes me cry! Not because of how wonderful I am, but just a reminder of how BLESSED I am! I told my husband, "All our boys know is a basement packed full of food!" (stockpile!)

 This is what Christmas is all about and I am thankful to have the resources to super coupon and bless those who are starting over with nothing!

 I hope you are able to find someone to bless this Christmas season, it sure does the heart good!

 Merry Christmas to my fellow couponers and to those who may become super couponers in 2011!

When you go shopping do you: check your budget, make sure you have the money to buy what you need, and then check the price tag of an item before buying?

I would gather most of us check the price tag of an item before we buy something. We want to make sure we can afford it.

Very few people go into a store and just start throwing things in their cart without a care of cost. Actually most of us look for the best deal possible to fit within our budget. 

On June 23rd, I started Weight Watchers....yes the two things are related

Right away I realized that Weight Watchers and bargain shopping are very much the same.

With Weight Watchers you're given points per day to "spend" on food. A bagel cost 3 points, a low fat hot dog 2 points, bananas zero points, medium fries 7 points, and so on. So you have to figure out what you can "afford" on food per day.

You have to look for the best deals! What's going to cost you the least amount of points, or if you do want to "buy" something for 10 points, how are you going to make that work with your daily budget?

All my super couponing fit in perfect with starting Weight Watchers. I saw how before I didn't care how many points I spent per day on my food. I ate whatever with no thought of a "budget". I was not a very good steward of my food budget.

I am thankful to see what my body actually needs per day. I am thankful for an easy way to budget my "food" each day.

Since June I've lost almost 32 pounds (41 pounds since October 2009). But more than the weight I have found that having my "food budget" more under control, the more I see other areas of my life I have to "budget" in a way that honors the Lord. 

 

                Taken July 5th

                    Taken Dec 11th

32 pounds difference. 

I have about 45 left to lose and with a shift in eating and making sure I am eating within my budget, I know I'll get there! 

My friend, Michele, has this on her Facebook page:

"Who am I? Wrong question.
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

Who is Christ? Right question.
He is the way, the truth and the life. My life is hidden with him in God."

 

I think those are two very important questions and she hits the truth right on!

"What's my identity?" "I've lost my identity since becoming a mom!" "I've lost part of myself in motherhood."

Are those positive or negative comments or questions?

In our culture, they are negative. 

Moms sigh, "I've just lost myself identity in motherhood."

My response, "You never had it in the first place, if you're a believer in Jesus."

Where do we get our self worth or identity, anyway? Our career, our status, our paycheck, how many kids we have, our clothes, our talents, our homes, our cars, our ministry, others approval, our friendships, our marriage, our church, in our perfectly behaved children, our waist size, our vacations, our latest gadgets, homeschooling, or our accomplishments.

If we're feeling like we lost our identity in motherhood, then maybe we had too much identity before we became mothers.

The verse my friend quoted is the place to look for our identity: I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me Gal. 2:20

As moms, wives, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends, and coworkers our identity should be completely and totally about Christ living in us and living for Him. Our lives hidden in Him. There's just a beautiful picture of selflessness with that concept. And being a mom or not doesn't change the fact that if you're a believer your identity should come from Him and from Him alone. 

Yes, I understand that when most moms say, "I've lost my identity in mothering" they mean they are not the same person they were before kids. They feel like their, once used talents and gifts, have been put on the back burner as they change diapers, wipe up puke, have t-shirts that are stained with snot and food, and read more Dr. Seuss than the latest fiction. However, once become a mom a woman will never be the same person. As we embrace each short season of mothering, the more we cling to allowing Christ to rein supreme, the more identity in Him we will have. 

Remember moms we're raising the next generation and that is powerful!

As most of you know I am writing articles for our local MOPS group. This was December article.

 

Mom-Ology

 

Very early in the morning,

while it was still dark, Jesus got up,

left the house and went off to a solitary place,

where he prayed Mark 1:35 

 

            Boundaries. When you hear that word, what comes to mind? When you think of boundaries in a relationship does it change your view of the word?

            We are all in relationships: wives, moms, daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, co-workers; but do we practice healthy boundaries in our relationships?  

People Pleasing Polly

            Maybe you’re like my “friend” Polly. Polly hates to hurt anyone’s feelings. She will go out of her way to be sure her mother-in-law, best friend, sister, gal at the grocery store, and co-workers are happy with her. She detests any conflict and will do and say whatever it takes to keep the peace. Polly never lets anyone really know what she’s thinking, not even her husband, for fear of causing strife. However Polly is often deeply wounded by people close to her because of her lack of voicing her hurts.

 

Loud Mouth Mary

            Or maybe you’re more like my “friend” Mary. Mary is harsh, opinionate, rude, pushy, demanding, and controlling. You don’t cross Mary! She’ll make sure you know what she thinks and never holds back from giving her two cents worth. She’s burned many bridges along the way, but normally blames others and says, “They just don’t know how to deal with a woman like me!” Mary has few people in her life that trust her and even desire to be around her.

Psycho Sybil

            Or how about relating to my "friend" Sybil? Sybil is a combination of Mary and Polly. At work, church, her ministry, and her social circles she’s Miss Polly, sweet, tender, and keeps the peace. Never saying “no” because of how others might view her, not matter what suffers in other areas of her life. But at home it’s another story. She’s short fused, over loaded, sharp tongued, and pushy. Her husband and kids know that when mom is on a rampage to watch out! Sybil is always at the end of her rope, but only showing those closest to her those true colors.

 Healthy Hannah

            Maybe you relate more to my “friend” Hannah. Hannah is gracious and compassionate. She’s kind and giving, yet has a healthy sense of when to say no. She’s sensitive to what her calendar can handle and because she aware of the needs of her family and herself, she has a calm demeanor. Her daily time with God is what fills her up and gives her proper perspective. She’s not afraid of sharing her real feelings, yet does it in a way that honors God and others.  Hannah is intentional in her relationships and in cultivating them, yet knowing when to have space and give space. She knows how to protect her family time and find a balance between giving help and rest.

So who are you more like: Polly, Mary, Sybil or Hannah?

            If you’re more like Polly you could find yourself at the end of your rope often. You may feel walked all over because no one ever really knows what you want or what you’re thinking. Or if you’re like Mary you may experience people always keeping you at arms length and avoiding a deep meaningful friendship with you. If you relate Sybil you may feel constantly overwhelmed at the different attitudes you wear, your friends don’t know you and your family is always hurt by you.

Then if you do relate to Hannah you will experience the peace that comes from knowing what you can handle, how to say “no”, and how to say “yes” to the things that are most important in your life. You’ll understand that having responsibility in caring for yourself: spiritual, physically, emotionally, and mentally, will in turn care for those around you, in so many ways.  Saying “no” won’t just be to activities, but to certain draining relationships that zap you of your mental energy that should be used else where. You’ll also experience the joy of authentic, pure, and meaningful relationships with people who respect the proper boundaries you’ve established.

 Regardless of where you are in your journey to healthy boundaries, this time of year, it is helpful to examine our own personal boundaries, seek God, and find the healthiest boundaries for you and your family.

 

 

Our culture believes we're not set up to live on one income, but may I respectfully disagree.

I, in no way, intend to step on toes, but I want to share my thoughts on living within our means.

I am tired of people thinking, "Well your husband is a doctor so of course you can live on one income!"

Recently I did some homework on what teachers make in our school district. There's 50 teachers in our district, 20 of them make as much or more than John. If you factor in the money we spend on our own health care, then 25 make as much or more than John, so that 50% of the school teachers in my community make as much or more than John! Just to give you some perspective. John is a small business owner that happens to offer chiropractics as a service! As we compared his salary to some teachers that are his age, he said, "I went into the wrong field!"

Not only is he making about the same, 10% of our income is dedicate to our own health care, 10% to savings and 10% to tithing, so we live on 70% of his income.

"Keeping up with the Joneses" is a common problem among so many of us. Our young people believe they have to "keep up" by going deeply into debt to get a college education. According to some websites, most college students graduate with $21,000 in debt! 

Then, some buy new houses, new cars, and try to get established. This of course is a perfect setting and perfectly normal to want to be established, however these days many college students are having a hard time finding well paying jobs so they're getting jobs where ever they can. 

Then two people fall in love and each bring massive amounts of debt into their marriage. Just think if the average is $21K, then a couple could have over $40K in debt before buying a house, cars, and just the expense of life. 

Then this deeply in debt couple has to still "keep up" with nice vacations, the best cable packages, the latest gadgets, the best clothes, and a house that they can't really afford.

They wait at least 5 years to have kids because they think if they can bring down some of the debt before kids will help. Then they add 2 or 3 kids to the mix.

10 years down the road they still have debt and say, "We just could never live on one income!" Well sure they can't, they have too much in debt/interest payments on all the stuff they've bought to "keep up"!

So are we really a culture that HAS to live on two incomes, our are we a culture that has to "have it all" despite the reality of what we can really afford?

Since we got married we've lived on one income. But we brought no debt into our marriage and have remained committed to having no debt. We've never had a car payment, we've never carried our credit card debt from one month to the next, and we bought a house about $35,000 less than we had been approved for.

I don't say this to be like, "Oh look at us, aren't we just amazing!" But to show, esp. younger people, college students, that how you spend your money now will effect your future family in many ways. Before we met John and I were both committed to being debt free. 

Now, at times I've fallen trap to the "keeping up with the Joneses" mindset. When we bought our house I really didn't like it. As we talked through why I didn't like it, it boiled down to what other people would think of my old, drafty, house. Sure it was practical and fits our needs perfectly, but it's not a beautiful and as well put together as other people's houses. 

We've never gone without, but we've gone without the extras of life...cable, smart phones, ipads, ipods, new cars, Disney vacations, new clothes every season, and new carpet (I'd love new carpet, but it in no way fits our budget, so I have a carpet cleaner. )

Even in that we do have plenty of extras and things that have made life comfortable!

Our nation is filled with politicians and people who live outside of our means. Our nation has 13.9 TILLION dollars in debt and we're still spending like we have plenty of money. It will and does catch up to people!

If we don't each commit to living within our means the problem will only get worse. If we don't commit to being off government help as much as possible, the problem will only get worse! We must work hard and stay committed to being debt free! 

I do believe there really are some who have to live on two incomes, but I believe this is the exception, not the rule. And the reason I am so passionate about living on one income is my belief in having a parents at home raising the kids. (In case you didn't know that )

I really appreciate Jill and Mark Savages book: Living on Less so Your Family Has More. They have practical ideas in living within your means!

It seems like once a month (um, yes, seems like the same 28 days or so) I get this emotion that is so hard to shake. It's directed right at my husband....resentment!

I look at his "i can go anywhere, do anything, be free" attitude. No my husband doesn't go out with the guys. He's not involved in much outside of the home. He's super plugged in with the boys. He's an amazing father. He's a hard worker and provides for our family.

But this weekend he was gone all day Saturday and part of Sunday (he's in a play at church). He doesn't think twice about what time to get up to get four people ready. He doesn't have to think about getting a babysitter when he plans an outside activity. He just doesn't have to....I got it covered. There's a lot he doesn't have to think about because I have it covered. 

The last two weeks (since his back went out), I've had to pick up my daily work load and his household chores. I guess I am a bit tired. 

I do love being a mom, I love being a wife, I love serving my family...but I have my moments (again about once a month) where I am just so jealous of him!

Am I alone? Do other mom's feel this?

I want to shake this feeling. I don't like feeling so much resentment towards him. I find myself wanting to shut down to him emotionally. I find myself wanting him to "feel" what's it's like to have the work load I have. I have to really push through and not allow myself to have a pity party!

It's so ugly isn't it!?! It's selfish sin! 

I share so that if you think I never struggle or am a perfect wife and mom always with a smile...you can clearly see I fight my own flesh and sin!

On a bright note, this really only lasts about a day or two! Phew!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

 God has continued to bless us with his GRACE, for which we are so undeserving!

 Rest: We were able to take two vacations (one mini) up to the Dells. Vacations are a perfect time to bond as a family, and we were able to make some memories to last a life time!

 Academics: This year we continued home schooling and have been able to enjoy watching the boys grow in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.

 Couponing: This year can be characterized by a year that we learned the art of “super couponing”. It’s been a fun way to save money!

 Every day life is pretty basic. Often at the store when people see we have three boys we hear, “You have your hands full.” Yes, we do, but we wouldn’t want it any other way!

 Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Love,

 

John, Heather, Miles, Luke & Clark

 (our Christmas card and letter this year)

 

 

 

After attending True Woman in Ft. Worth I felt like one area I really needed to focus on as a wife and mom was making family dinner an important event.

John has a bit of a random work schedule. Some nights he's not home till 8, other nights he's home at 4:30. Two days a week he comes home for lunch and often times eating together as a family happened about once or twice a month. It's not like we're running from here to there, we just didn't sit down together. 

The boys are loud and love to talk and talk and talk to John when he gets home, so it was easier to let them watch a movie while eating dinner, and have just us two eat. Or it was easier to feed them before John got home because they would get hungry about 5 and most nights he's home after 5. 

As I've come to see the importance of a family meal, John and I have worked together to make this a top priority. It has taken intentionality and work. Family dinners do not come natural to us! (This has been a shocking revelation to me!) I've also made breakfast and lunch an important time of sitting at the table with me and the boys! Food should be eaten at the table, right!?!

Not only have we been eating together almost 5 nights a week (those late nights I eat with the boys and John eats when he gets home) we've finally laid down the "eat what's put before you" rule.

I'll admit that I would normally make a meal for us and then feed the boys something else. No more...for the most part! They have to eat what I make.

At first it was a bit of a battle, not huge, but I am glad we're doing this now and not when they are 8 or 10! Actually it's harder for me because I just want it easy...just here eat this and let's not have any tears or anyone upset or annoyed. Oh I have much to learn as a mom!!!

Today I listened to a Revive our Hearts and this topic of family dinners was brought up, it just confirmed my commitment to making this a goal in our family! Here's the link: Ministry at Home

What do family dinners look like for you? How do you work in making them a goal or a priority at your home?

I love this list from Revive our Hearts

A woman who does not have sound thinking (Self-Control):

• is impulsive
• lacks discretion
• follows worldly philosophies
• is driven by her flesh
• lacks follow-through
• is self-centered
• is discontented
• has emotions controlled by circumstances
• seeks escapism from problems 
• is easily provoked
• falls apart in a crisis
• easily loses hope
• says whatever she thinks without thinking first
• is highly opinionated
• speaks roughly with profane or crass talk
• is overly concerned about what other people think
• has unpredictable behavior
• is morally careless
• procrastinates
• is given to extremes
• is a pleasure seeker
• is easily distracted
• yields easily to temptation
• struggles to develop consistent life disciplines
• enjoys mindless entertainment
• looks for the easy way out
• thinks about the short-term rather than the long-term
• is demanding
• fritters away time
• makes decisions based on what is easiest

A woman who does have sound thinking (Self-Control):

• is restrained in:
  • her thoughts
  • her tongue
  • her eating
  • her spending
  • her reactions
• is calm under pressure
• is purposeful in the use of her time
• is a good steward
• is morally chaste
• has a well-ordered life
• show good judgment
• doesn't "lose it" under pressure
• responds in faith versus fear
• guards her heart and mind
• evaluates what she reads or hears in light of Scripture
• is mentally disciplined
• resists temptation
• shows delayed gratification
• demonstrates others-centered living
• is diligent and faithful in her responsibilities
• is intentional
• is modest in dress and behavior
• hopes in God
• gives thanks in all things
• makes wise, biblical decisions
• prays
• demonstrates the Spirit controlling her flesh